Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
