I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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