i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
