fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
