Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
