Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
