walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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