Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
this is an emotional support booty call
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
