allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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