This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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