true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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