You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
