Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
