At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm like, not good at living.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
