just come out here and I will go home with you...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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