why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
