Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
