How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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