wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
