hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
