Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
