i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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