Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
