Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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