Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
