oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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