dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
