: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
