I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
