God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
