Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
