***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
