those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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