I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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