so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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