I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
