I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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