i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is Oprah even human
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
