White coat. Heels.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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