and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
