My liver just broke up with me...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
