He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize