It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
