Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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