I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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