Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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