Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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