A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
