I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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