lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
