someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
