no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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