Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
