I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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