It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
