we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
