last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
