ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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